TA!

Again.......not for me!

For her!

She and I....

errrrr....

Her and I.....

ummm....

She and me....
grrrrrrr.....

Lori and I will be leaving in 16 days!
Can't wait.
Can't wait.
Can't wait.

Whose coming with us?
I thought it'd be fun to link a bunch of blogs up on my sidebar of those of us that will be traveling at the same time. I did this when we traveled for Jacob and Joey and it was supah fun to read everyone else's accounts of their day.

Bring it on people's.

See you soon!
In the meantime I'll be in the closet sucking my thumb.
Airplanes and I are not good friends.
(Yes....I am married to a pilot. Don't judge. At least I'm not married to a pastor and afraid to go to church.....that'd be really embarassing.)
And I have never, ever, ever been away from my kids that long.
Sob.
Sniffle.
Sob.
Sob.
Sob.

I Got My Butt Kicked at E2C

I went to an Empowered to Connect conference last weekend.
The following is an exhaustive list of things that I learned that I am making available to you...
the public at large.

Item 1:

I am doing everything wrong. 

This concludes what I learned at the conference.
Thank you for your time.

Seriously though.
Whew.
I know we all have our own issues....except for you perfect one's out there....hats off to ya....
and my "issue" is/has been/still working on it:

The "I have/am currently raising 4 bio kids successfully thus I can apply my same teaching and training techniques to my adopted kids and everything will be just dandy" mentality.
Um yeah.
Purvisied.
That's me.

Post conference....heck for that matter, mid conference at lunch break, and pre-conference at breakfast and post-post conference at the hotel I was blessed to spend the weekend with these amazing women.

That's Stacie. 
And Jennifer.
And Lori. 

We laughed, we cried, we stayed up past our bedtimes and we ate a lot of really good food.

And like all good adoption events it just wouldn't be complete without randomly running into blog friends. Love that! {And seriously go check out her precious cuties that she just brought home. Ohmygoodnesssosweet.}

And above all else we spent time processing what we learned during this emotional weekend the way all red blooded American.....or Swedish.....women should
by going to Ikea afterward. 
Holla.

Because let's face it.
Nothing says "You've just been Purvisied" better than a hot cinnamon roll and purchasing more things than you can possibly fit in your suitcase for your return flight home....ahem....Jennifer. 

In all seriousness though, I think that conference should be part of every pre-adoptive parent's training. It was eye oooooopening.
I think know I learned more in that two days about the development of babies and children's brains than I ever thought I'd know and how that subsequently effects their behaviors. Whew.

Wowzer.
The mountain us adoptive parents are facing makes me keep my eyes on the Cross.
Which is good.
Cuz....ya know.
That's just where they need to be anyway. 

There were some moments that made me and a few others say what-what? Mainly in regards to the size of families...... but alas we won't get into that here. My sweet friend Dawn who was also at the conference has done a series of posts and I'm sure you can find others that also previously attended a conference and felt the same say what? I don't entirely disagree with what was said in this regard.....but I don't entirely agree either. Just food for thought, I have my own only halfway processed musings on this but it's midterms for me this week
thus my thoughts consist of things like
"Ohmyguh-racioushowtheheckdidIthinkIcoulddoallofthis." 

I am however, off now to figure out how to change my ringtone to the Downton Abby theme-song.
Cuz there's always time for that.
And then I am going to design a t-shirt that says:
"I've just been Purvisied."
Look for it at a Stuff-Mart near you coming soon.

And maybe I'll get my words together on my thoughts on big families after midterms.

The Response

I gotta admit
I started to wonder.

Should I give her these things?
Should I put aside her {very obvious} immediate needs and form a friendship first and then work my way into an avenue in which I could help her?
What if she is completely embarrassed and I cause her shame. 
Will I offend her?
Should I...
Should I...
Will I.....
Will I....
What if....
What if....
What. 
If. 

In the end
with the prompting of the Holy Spirit
I decided
to go with it.

Knowing that building a friendship with her is going to part of this
but also knowing that she has some immediate needs that I can help meet.

I dropped the bag off at my professor's office before class on Thursday.

We had a test last Thursday and I ended up finishing mine before she did so I didn't get to see her sweet face but I did come home later in the day to this email from my professor:

Sonia,
"H" had the biggest smile on her face when I gave her your gifts. I told her that

somebody loves her and her eyes lit up. Then she asked, "Really?" By the way, 

she doesn't own a computer, but she has easy access to one due to the 

vicinity of her living quarters.
Thank you again for caring and demonstrating that you care."

Her. eyes. lit. up. 

Glory.

To. 

God.  

The professor? Doesn't know Jesus. 

"H"? I don't know if she knows Him. 

But maybe just maybe they both got a little glimpse into His work and His 

message, 

Somebody really does love them both. 

And His name is Jesus. 

And I think this tiny little experience has taught me to stop being so 

wrapped up and concerned that I am going to offend. 

Love. With. Reckless. Abandon. 

I'm all in.  

Thank you everyone for praying for "H", I will keep you posted as I get to 

know her more throughout the rest of the semester. 

In other news, ignore the wacky font(s)....blogger has apparently not had

it's coffee this morning and is protesting and since I am blogging instead

of studying for a quiz I have later this morning I'd better just 

leave it alone. Boo. 

Beause She's Worth It.

I go to college.
I go to college Monday, Wednesday & Friday online and Tuesday & Thursdays on campus.

Every Tuesday and Thursday I go.
And every Tuesday and Thursday I sit.
And every Tuesday and Thursday she walks in.
Hair disshelveled.
Clothes two sizes too small that are stained, dirty and wrinkled beyond belief.
And she smells.
She smells like she hasn't seen a shower in awhile.
She sits across from me and my body instinctively moves from breathing through my nose to breathing through my mouth to stomach the stench as I watch everyone around her do the same.

and my heart breaks for her a little bit more each day. 

And I'm done.

I'm done standing by and watching.
I'm done standing by and hoping that someone else will help her.
I'm done smiling nicely at her and making polite conversation because no one else in the class will speak to her.

So done.

She is the least of these.
She is brilliant.
She knows the answers quicker in math than most of the rest of us.
She shows up everyday.
She learns despite her circumstances.
She can't be more than 18 or 19 years old.

But she's also hurting.
And hungry.
And she's unable to access our required online portions of this class because the access code costs $80.

And I'm done.

She.
Is.
The.
Heart.
Of.
Jesus.

And yet still I sit with my iPhone in my purse and my new flip flops cradling my freshly polished feet.
Lord forgive me.

Done.

I'm done and I need your help.

From what I can discern
(not from conversation with her about it but from observation alone......so I could be wrong)
but I truly, truly believe she is homeless.
And if she's not "technically" homeless.
She has to be darn close. 
She amazes me. 

How she is in college is miraculous to begin with.

I've thought of a few things.
John and I are going to pay anonymously for her access code.
I am going to head out tomorrow in search of a couple of outfits for her and some toiletry items like deodorant, toothpaste and my favorite yummy smelling body spray and drop it off in a bag at our professor's office before class on Thursday so that she can give it to her discreetly.  

But I need you.
What more?
What else?
Ideas? 
Can you take a minute and pray for her?
Can you take a minute and ask the Lord to inspire you with an idea of how else to help her and what she may need?

In the words of Mr. Hale in 1902 "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."
He knew it then.
I know it now.
Jesus knew it always.

I can't buy her a house.
I can't buy her a car.
I can't "fix" every obstacle in her way.
But I can be His hands and feet.
And somehow......someway that is much larger than me.
That will be enough.

Body of Christ bring it on.
Let's be one. 
Let's be like the ONE.
Let's do this.