Thursday, May 31, 2012

You say Potato, I say Potato

And you are both wrong...

because it's actually a pineapple.

One of the things that is hardest around here as it relates to proper English acquisition is the fact that there are 3 in process of learning.


So 1 says it wrong
and thus sayeth the other 2.

So as I bee teaching them that there proper Enklish

I am
at the same time 
undoing what they are hearing from each other when I am not around.
A bit like the blind leading the blind.

And well,
with their dynamic...
if it comes from their brother...then it's like Gospel truth.
Thus it doesn't actually occur to any of them to do a little fact checking or to ask me or one of their other brothers.

So a tomato may be a potato
Darth Vadar is apparently Luke's brother
And we might be pronouncing words completely incorrectly

but somehow I have a feeling
this too shall pass. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Family Pictures

and I need a drink.


Once a year folks
we do it


And now the morning after I am ever grateful I have a full 364 more days to recover.

someone tell me I'm not alone.

The washing
The combing
The wiping of faces
The re-washing of hair while the shower sprays me with water because he couldn't manage to get all the shampoo out.
The stealing away of 5 minutes to get myself ready (heaven forbid)

and then promptly being told halfway through that I look like Minnie Mouse.

And then there's this contraption:

of which I do not often operate.

Cuz ya know
that's what a few minutes in the dryer is for...
to prevent the need for actual ironing.
{Can I get a witness.}

The folding

The organizing.
The matching.
The smiling in the photographs when you really want to reach over and ask him if he would kindly stop acting like a total dork and just smile. 


After much thought and no research I have decided this:


They are not like us.
They couldn't care less if there was never a graven image of them on this earth.
They don't care that yesterday's breakfast is still on their face.
They don't care that their hair is so, so slimy they look like they belong as an extra on Grease.
The fact that I assure them their great-great grandchildren will one day want to know what they looked like means nothing to them.
Socks don't match?
Not a problem.
Toe nails long enough to warrant their own zipcode?
They. Just. Don't. Care.

Well, mine don't care. 
Ya'll could all have normal children for all I know.

But alas, we survived.
And then we went out for ice cream.

And took up nearly the entire place.

364 more days people.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

A Little Known Fact About Me

is that when I was little
I envied
like envied envied
my brother's ear infection medicine.

Hey brotha!

He had ear infections all. the. time. could have only been once or twice
but in my childhood cerebellum I recall it being

And all. the. time.
he got to have the yummy bubble gum medicine.

And I?
I got nuthin.
nothin except for what I could lick out of the cap when no one was looking. 

I'm pretty sure that I should seek out some therapy or something to help me deal with this.

But that's for another day.

Enter the year 2012.

Jason breaks his jaw
and we are at the commissary last week filling our cart with all things liquid and blendable.

He's kinda just throwing things in left and right
and I'm totally letting him
cuz ya know
I feel bad for him.

I was pretty amped up the first week or so after the accident,
obsessively analyzing what he was eating.....errrr drinking....errrr dreating?....
and how I could make it fatter or increase his caloric intake
but then as he continued to lose weight anyway I now feed him what I can and he fills in with whatever liquids taste good
and we realize life will go on and he will gain it back soon enough.

Last night I was a hankerin for a cold drink
saw this in the fridge


realized it was low calorie
and thought I should probably pay more attention next time to what he is putting in the cart
cuz ya know
"slenderize" isn't quite what we are going for here.

But I digress
I took a sip

can you believe it?
It tastes exactly like the bubblegum medicine of the 80's!

It was as if my taste buds in that moment were rocketed back to the days of neon, banana clips and leg-warmers and were belting out Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. 

So if you
like me
somehow had a thing for bubble gum medicine back in the day.

Cry yourself to sleep no more
and go getcha some of this.

Your welcome.

Oh, and if your not like me
find this weird
and question my mental stability as it relates to drinking things that taste like bubble gum
your still welcome.

Cuz it's that good. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Every Now and Then

I wonder why I feel like I can't seem to get it together
and then I recall
that it could have something to do with this:

4 weeks ago:

2 weeks ago:

6:30 am today:

Which is why I now feel like this:

The end.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

She's in the Hospital

And she's ready.
Pre-op testing done.

Just waiting on a liver



Grab an envelope here. 
If everyone took one no one would give more than $500 and her surgery would be fully funded.

There is HOPE for Alea. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

And He STILL Waits.

He's available again...
he's still looking for his family.

Here he is again...

I know many of us have seen this:


and ugly cried over this precious child. 

And though the facts of that article and his everyday life are a bit skewed(he does actually get out and interact with other kids)
the true fact remains

He needs love.
He needs life.
He needs a family.

Allow me to introduce to you to him.

People, meet Mr. Cutie Pants
Mr. Cutie Pants, meet People!


and in need of a mommy and a daddy.

HIV is not what it used to be.
Educate, educate, educate.


Here is a link to a video with some more HIV info

Shoot me a message if you'd like more information and I will point you in the right direction. He is ready, he is available, and he needs you!

If you emailed me about him before the same info/same agency still applies!
Let me know if you need it again!



apparently yesterday on the walk home from school
one of my children
whom shall remain nameless

stopped suddenly on the sidewalk
turned toward the house about 4 doors down


Dropped trow
and pee'd

I suppose Joshua just couldn't hold it anymore
and well
when you gotta go
you gotta go pee in your neighbors yard.

I gotta go bake her a pie now
Nothing says sorry my son's urine is all over your daisy's
better than pie.

What flavor do you reckon is best for this particular scenario?
Key Lime?

Right now I'm thinking lemon meringue. 

Lord help me.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Week.

A Week in Review.

One more week down for this one...or what's left of him that is.

He's down a total of 12 pounds so far....
but we still aren't talking about that.

The twins turned 10.
What. The. Heck.

I miss those babies that would snuggle up with one another whenever they could.

I love those two.

We rented a video game trailer for their party.

Supah fantastic.
There are something like 14 children in there and I am happily chit chatting on the porch above letting the people that run it - and have a clue about video games because I do not - handle it.

Nobody broke anything this week.
That's big.
No arms, no more jaws, not even a pinkie toe,  no thing.
Call me crazy...but I call that a great week.

Joshua got sent to the stairs for a time out for sumthin or other.
Jordan joined him.
For no particular purpose.

Sympathy time out I guess.

And no, we don't make him sit with his head in his hands...he does that by himself.
Bless him.

Justin competed in a battle of the book competition and his team ended up with 2nd place. far as my mental tabulation could accurately was 2nd.
They award 1st place and don't tell the rest what place they got.

And if anyone can tell me why I tend to raise my eyebrows and look like a total tool every time I take a self photog with any of my children, let me know. I'm all ears.
What drives me to do this?
Wrinkle minimilization perhaps?
I dunno.

This happened on Mother's Day:

Of his own accord.
It happened so fast I made him come back so I could adequately capture the moment.

Ahhhh so nice.
And justsoyaknow,  in the spirit of honesty.... he didn't actually do the laundry.....but the man child at least brought it downstairs without being asked.
Of course it was 8:14 pm.....on Sunday....and he was out of clean uniforms for the upcoming I suspect he had ulterior motives.....but I choose not to think on that. :) 

Found out that Jacob's plastic surgeon/oral surgeon team are booked for bone grafts for a little over a year.
This means we are going to miss that all important "window" for the graft in regards to their canine teeth making their appearance.

Any cleft parents out there have any wisdom? How important is this window? Will the graft still take? Should I find another surgeon to get it done in the window? Help!

And no....we are not adopting sweet Bo.

Sniff-sob-ugly cry-ugly cry
I was merely introducing him to an incredible family that I know that I know that I know would love that boy to pieces and give him the help, the family and the future that he needs.

Precious Alea still doesn't have a family.

Which keeps me up at night
and makes me wish my husband would spontaneously look up at me from the dining room table and say, "Hey babe, I think we should go get that girl."

.....gotta go.
I'm turning blue from lack of oxygen.

Monday, May 14, 2012


CorI, meet Bo.

Bo, meet CorI.
Just make sure you call him Cory...
or dad.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It's a GIRL!!

Meet Alea

She needs a mommy and daddy.

She needs a liver transplant.

She needs love.
For the rest of her life.


She is 8 months old as of yesterday and is being cared for at an incredible place.  
She has been given less than 10 months of life left on this earth if someone does not intervene.


She needs love.
She needs life.
She needs YOU. 

More information and contact information about her can be found here or email

Or if you want to help contribute to her care you can go here.

Do Something. 
Her life depends on it.

Monday, May 7, 2012

I Feel The Need To Tell You

that you guys are incredibly smart.




Of course I came to this conclusion years ago
but the true extent of my non-cerebral self became glaringly obvious in 
The Great Spaghetti Blending Debacle of 2012. 

I had no idea.
I had no idea about gluten
and blending of pasta
and so on
and so forth
and such as
the Iraq.

First of all,
I was using
not a VitaMixer
not a Cuisinart
not even a real blender


A margarita machine.
I'm so ashamed.
That is my blender.
It's what I have.
My current choices are "shave"
or "blend."
And I've sorta figured out that is not going to work for me in this here circumstance. 

Moreover, I put a bit of butter and chicken broth in
with said cooked spaghetti and thatsit. 
No sauce.
No nuthin.
It's how the boy likes it
so that's what I put in it. 

So now after reading all your tips I

A: Feel like a complete tool.


B: Now know all about gluten and acidity of non-existent tomato based sauces and such. 

And for the record,
I have yet to try any more blended food....
and neither has he wanted me to.
I do believe I have scarred the child for life.

Moreover, we went to the surgeon today for a checkup and Jason has already lost 8 pounds.
8 pounds in 6 days.

I don't want to talk about that. 

But truly, in better news,
his surgeon was far from concerned,
said this was normal,
said the weight loss should taper off 
and will be un-wiring the poor teenager on Thursday, June 7th.

Which is my new favorite day.

Here's what Jason thought of the news:

That's Jason.
And that is a whole lotta metal.

See that giant crack on his lower right jaw?
That would be the point of impact.

The other break is harder to see

 but that's it right under his un-erupted bottom left wisdom tooth.

And this
is him and his dorky mom the morning of surgery

He puts up with me.
And I love him for it.
And that would be his dad giving him bunny ears.
It's seriously like we are 12 years old or somethin.
Please don't tell anybody.

And this was his legs when I went back to recovery to see him.

Gigantor's legs don't even fit in the bed.
Which made me chuckle.

And then I saw this

Drugged up, knocked out, but darnit, kid still has his phone.
Which was actually pretty sweet.
Kids from his class were texting him scriptures and prayers of support all morning.
Which just makes this mom's heart smile.

And then there was the not so funny thing we discovered that day during the routine pre-op stuff.
That'd be this:

That'd be Jason's spine.
Jason's very curvy spine.
Jason's very curvy spine that we had no idea was curvy but now it makes sense why his brother is surpassing him in height.

We have no idea what the heck this means just yet.
They have ordered a scoliosis series to be done....
but ya know....
that would involve yet another doctor...
and yet another waiting room....
and well....just not now.
Later this week perhaps.....but just not now.
I'm currently operating on a one thing at a time approach to life between hearts and clefts and jaws and now this.

I'm off now to blend {in my friend Julee's borrowed actual blender...thanks Julee!}
a pint of Ben & Jerry's Late Night Snack Ice Cream into a milkshake.
60 grams of fat
16 grams of protein
plus all the goodness that the whole milk that goes with it brings.

Just don't say the word spaghetti anytime soon
and we can still be friends.

So I guess that about sums it up.
I'm a dork.
Ya'll are not.
And I am continually grateful that you love me anyway.

Thursday, May 3, 2012



Being bedside for 20 days with a child who just had open heart surgery was easier than this.


Maybe not.
But dude.
It's like nearly a tie at least.

This jaw wired shut stuff is kicking my butt.

I feel like at least with Joshua there was a team of PICU nurses that were taking constant care of him,
with Jason I feel like they wired it shut,
handed us a pair of wire cutters,
and said g'bye.
All the while assuming that I had the know how and where with all to keep the child alive for the next 6 weeks.
"If he vomits he will aspirate into his lungs so be sure you can clip the wires in time and call 911."
they said.

Which way to the lobby?

I'm pretty sure they have vastly over estimated my abilities.

It shouldn't be that hard right?
And blend.
And blend.

I got the drink down.
But the blend....
I'm working on it.

We tried spaghetti last night and by the time it was over I was nearly in tears of frustration.
Too thick,
add chicken broth
too thick,
add chicken broth
too thick
add chicken broth
add chicken broth
add chicken broth
thin enough to fit through the syringe!
Oh but wait...
too starchy and it covers all of the hardware in his mouth like glue.
So I got the head shake no on that one.
....after about 25 minutes of effort.


I feel so bad for him.

He is taking it like a rock star.
am a big fat baby.
A smiling encouraging baby in front of him
and a sobbing big baby mess when out of his view.

Our kitchen and fridge has turned into the liquid aisle of the commissary.

And today my cart found it's way to the baby aisle looking for sustenance.
I found some.

and then I started lactating.
Weird. I know.

In addition to Jason's issues, braces found our way onto our cleft kiddo today.

I think they are in a race to see who can have the most hardware in their mouth.
Right now they are neck in neck.
Palate expander.
Metal rods going this way and that. 

I sincerely hope our family isn't required to pass through a metal detector anytime soon.

I thought about going on an all liquid diet to show my support and solidarity for them.
But here's the problem:

I don't wanna.

So instead I'll continue to lock myself in the laundry room when they aren't looking and eat.
Don't judge.
Momma needs her steak.

Thank you for all of your comments and recipes suggestions! I have printed each of them off and will be trying them all over the coming days! I am so grateful for your help!

PS Any idea on what I did wrong with the spaghetti? Is it normal to come out like glue? Am I way off on my chicken broth to spaghetti ratio?
Help me Rhonda.
{Oh, and even if your name isn't Rhonda you can still help me. The Beach Boys said so.}

PPS: My monthly blog post is up on NHBO if you wanna check it out. You can find it right here.

PPPS: That is all.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Wired. ~Sigh~

After a no good terrible horrible rough day yesterday
We found out that Jason will be having surgery today
to wire his jaw shut
for 6 weeks.

It is the opinion of everyone he saw yesterday that this should have been done the morning after the accident.
And that he should have been put on an antibiotic as his infection risk is elevated now
never mind.
No use living in the past.
But needless to say this momma is slightly frustrated
and should any of my other kids ever break their jaw
I know a lot more now than I did before yesterday. 

Can I be a little more needy and ask you to pray for him today?
have any of you had your jaw wired shut?

He's 15.
And weighs close to nothing already.

Recipes for shakes/drinks/things that I can blend?
High fat recipes? 
Real food that tastes good blended?
Hot food that tastes good blended?

With as much as our teenagers eat I think this is going to be a rough 6 weeks for him so I want to try and give him as much variety as possible.


Surgery at 12:15, please pray for Jason!