I hit the wall.
Today is ummmmm.....
I don't know.
Some day or other.
John and I switched on Friday night
he brought the boys up to say hi to Joshua and we partied like rock stars.
We ate in the cafeteria for dinner
played in the playroom
and ran all around the 200 sq feet that is JJ's PICU room.
I came home with the other 6 and John stayed up there with Joshua this weekend.
I walked into our home at around 11pm
managed to half heartedly tuck the kids in bed
and then collapsed on my bed.
Fully clothed and on top of the covers.
I slept that way all night.
I'm guessing I was a teensy bit tired.
It's Sunday afternoon and I am about to head back up there to switch back.
I miss him.
He was doing fine and we were in the honeymoon stage of our hospital stay.
The cath was over
we had the result
and we were kickin it in the hospital having as much fun as one can possibly have there.
And then Friday night his heart had some kind of horribly irregular arythmia that brought the doctors and nurses and the alarms going all up in his room in the middle of the night.
It yanks you right back into reality to remember how fragile he is.
They have now put the kabosh on our visits outside the PICU.
Tomorrow is the big day.
It's way more than my brain can really take in.
They are replacing his missing pulmonary valve with the jugular vein of a cow or a pig
closing his large VSD
and closing the duct that kept him alive all these years.
Surgery is expected to last about 7 hours.
They will wheel him down to the OR around 7am
and then we wait.
My heart is divided.
Part of me is rejoicing that this is happeneing as the alternative is obviously devastating.
But the other part of me is terrified for all that is to come in the next few days with him.
And the third part of me.....if that is even possible.....is absolutely heartbroken that dear friends of ours have not received the same good news regarding their kiddos diagnosis.
It's been a week.
a place to become
19 hours ago