Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Taking a Breath

to update in blog land.

Wow.
The last 3 days have
kicked.
my.
butt.

It's been up
it's been down
it's been down more
and more
and more
and more
and up
and down.

Sheesh.
I don't like roller coasters.
They make me puke.

To recap as well as my brain possibly can
the surgery went well.

We got word that he was off bypass and that he should be coming up soon
but then nothing.
After about an hour we learned he had to go back on bypass so they could make adjustments
and finally after leaving his room at 7am he wheeled back on in around 5pm.

Since then it's been all over the place.
We have learned some things about our little Asian Sensation.
He has a VERY high pain tolerance
and sedatives have pretty much no effect on him.

Nope.
None.
He was intubated
awake
coherent
writing perfect Mandarin characters asking for a drink and some peanuts
requesting to go for a walk
and mad as a hornet that a tube was down his throat.

Long story short after going to battle with the staff here for hours
they stepped out of his room for a minute
I laid down to try and grab a bit of sleep
opened my eyes 15 minutes later to find all the alarms going off
and 15 people scurrying around his room.

Scariest.Moment.Of.My.Life.
I thought we were losing him.

Turned out that he decided to take matters into his own tied down hands
and extubated himself.
Yep.
Hoodini managed to get out of the restraints and he pulled that tube right on out of there.
The nurse walked in to find him wide awake with the tube dangling in his hands.
Not a good moment.

Long drama short
he just wasn't ready.
He is now having what is called "reprofusion injuries".
His body has never ever seen this kind of blood flow and oxygenation and to suddenly be introduced to that kind of flow is very hard on all of his tissues.
Reprofusion injuries can manifest themselves in any of your tissues/organs.
His has appeared in his lungs
and then today in his liver.
Both of which are not doing well.

He became progressively worse over the day Tuesday and by 3 in the afternoon the entire team was once again hovering in his room when things went from bad
to very bad.
Faster than I could blink they had his bed down and were intubating him again.
Ugh.
It felt like we had just started over.

Longer drama shorter
he's been intubated now for the second go round for about 24 hours
he looks much
much 
better.
His body was kinda pooping out from working so hard to ya know
stay alive.
So today has been a day of rest for him.
They found a magical cocktail that seems to have done the trick and he's chilaxin.
The plan now is to try extubating again on Friday.

We were sailing right along today until his liver decided to have a little pity party this afternoon.
They just came in to do an ultrasound and the liver people are on the way.
Whatever the heck that means.

Regardless, I'm his momma.
And even better?
He knows it.
He reaches for me
He squeezes my hand
I tuck him in and sing him songs
we're besties.

So here I am.
Hanging out with the cutest 7 year old Chinese boy I ever did meet
whose color is no longer blue....


but PINK!

I.
Am.
In.
Love.

36 comments:

  1. Praying for your little guy! I've refreshed your blog countless times...probably as many as I was the last 2 weeks looking for my LID to come in. (It still hasn't) Now my husband is on it too (praying) and watching your blog (he doesn't watch any blogs)! We'll keep praying. God is working big miracles with your family! LOVE it. (We have 5 boys and a girl (from Guatemala) and another girl (currently in China)!
    How cool is it that blogland prays!

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  2. Sonia, Joshua is constantly on my mind and in my prayers. The Lord is doing wonderful things and will continue! :) I'm so sorry that this is so hard, gosh, but it is more than worth it. :) That precious boys fingers...look normal! Sakes alive, thank you Jesus!!! :)
    Will continue to pray! Hugs!

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  3. We certainly know, firsthand, the ups and downs that you are experiencing. Hang in there. You are a wonderful and blessed Mama and he knows it:)

    Praying with you--
    Lisa Murphy & family

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  4. Wow it sounds like it has been an insane and crazy ride. I am praying for you daily... So thankful to finally get an update. I knew you would be busy, but I have been worried. I actually cried seeing that he is doing "ok". I know he has a long way to go, but I will continue praying for your family....

    Also, So glad you are besties :)

    Jaclyn
    http://adoptutah.blogspot.com/

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  5. Praying Praying Praying!! Hope his Liver stops it's little pity party so he can get the breathing tube (i think thats wut your describing? i'm not sure on the big medical terms) out of his throat so he can breath on his own. And that his body doesn't have any more reprofusion injuries. Lots of love coming from Nebraska <33333
    -Kirstie Bikakis
    ps: I was getting anxious waiting for an update on Joshua! Hope you're doing well and make sure to get some rest and eat plenty when you can!!

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  6. You and your precious son are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for updating. I hope the ride is over soon! I love pink on boys!!!

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  7. So glad that things are going OK. I was getting worried also, but that just prompted me to keep praying every time I thought of you guys. I so wish you were closer and I could come visit. Please check your e-mail. I sent you one with contact info for another adoptive mom who is at the hospital also with her little one. She will be good support for you.

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  8. So glad they found something to help him chillax! Continuing to pray for your precious son, you, and the family at home.

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  9. So glad to see your post! I have been refreshing and praying and refreshing and praying. And my hubby also who doesn't really read blogs has been praying and asking also! So glad to hear that Joshua is, if even slowly, on the mend. continued prayers for him, you, and your family.

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  10. Sonia, I don't typically follow blogs, write on them or otherwise make myself appear stocker-ish in any manner...but now I have been pushed to do it thanks to your story. I am a far lesser woman of prayer than yourself but I am feeling the love and power for your family right now. I connected to you through Christina (Bishop) Welch and I am pumped to be cyber friends and to get to read daily updates. Thanks for being a powerful force in some many people's lives. You have a stalker/admirer in NY.

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  11. Wow, what a journey you are on. My prayers are for his healing and your peace.

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  12. That is a pukin" rollercoaster! I was getting a bit worried when you didn't post and each time I refreshed I prayed....
    Yeah, the pink does look good

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  13. I've seen those fingers purple blue in real life. Wow, pink is so much prettier. Thank you for the update. Once he gets up and around, you better buckle your seat belt sister.

    One day at a time.

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  14. So happy that things are looking up for you all and he is able to finally relax..Hang tough (sounds like with that little boy you have no choice) :)Soon this will all me a memory and you will have your family all in one place...

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  15. oh my gosh, sonia! my stomach is churning just from reading all that happened in this post. all i can say that i'm so glad that they found a cocktail for him that works.....and that you finally got some "pink" in your family {even if its in the form of fingers :)}, because girl you're out number with all that blue! lol

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  16. WOW! Well I guess he really is fiesty :) but that rollercoaster ride doesn't sound like one I would like. Wrapping you in prayers and lifting your family to the Father!!!! Please Lord heal Joshua and we praise you for the miracles you have already don!!! Thank you for bringing him HOME to his family!!!!

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  17. good thing i remembered to pray for you all each time i hit refresh on the blog. glad to have news. boo for roller coasters and yea for progress. the kids ask miltiple times a day how is JJ??? xoxo

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  18. Thanks for sharing what's been going on the past
    couple of days.

    Continuing to lift you all up in prayer. Will also pray for the medical teams taking care of your son.

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  19. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for updating. What a scary 2 days you've had. I can't even imagine it. But I'm so glad things are looking better and that he's sleeping peacefully now. I'll be praying for the "liver people" to make things okay! :)

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  20. Praying, praying for that precious boy (and his exhausted mama). I felt a strong sense to pray for Joshua in the early morning (4:30 Mountain Time) today. May God give you both supernatural strength and peace.

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  21. Wow, you have had a roller coaster past few days. I am so glad that your little man was able to rest today. I hope you were able to rest, too.

    I am still praying for you all!

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  22. I think I would have jumped out of my skin when those alarms went off! My goodness- it must have scared the begebbies right out of you!

    So thankful he is hanging in there and maintaining. I am sure his system is in shock- it's saying oxygenated blood? What the heck do I do with this?

    Praying for him, for you and for your family...

    Thank you for the update- I have been continually refreshing my computer.

    God Bless You!

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  23. wow! He must have a high tolerance to meds! When a person is intubated, they are on some type of paralysis to prevent the body from fighting that tube in their throat. So, technically he should not have been able to pull it out. Unfortunately, that med also paralyzes the lungs and diaphragm, so if it's pulled out, you can't breathe. They must have lessened the drugs for him to be able to even move. Thus the alarms and about 1000 people rushing into the room! There is also an inflated balloon to keep it in, so Little Guy pulled that out of his small throat! How do I know? Umm, I did it, too! I don't remember doing it, but I do remember a room full of people and having a sore throat when the DR finally took it out. Al I can say is that Joshua is one TOUGH little boy! It sounds like the ups and downs are really pretty typical of what to expect after a big surgery.
    I was doing dishes earlier and was praying for Joshua. And, for You! I started crying and just wept as I prayed. I know how difficult it is to be by his side in the CICU. Please, take some breaks when he's sleeping. Take care of your Mama self, because you need to be feeling strong and healthy when he is finally more alert in the next few days. I LOVE to hear that he knows you as his Mama and is seeking you out for comfort! So eat when you can and rest when you can. And, keep pushing for him to receive whatever medications he needs for comfort. I will continue to pray for both of you and for Dad and the other boys at home. I look forward to the days when you can all be at home together!
    I have a small gift for Joshua. Can you let me know how/where to send it? It's a card game that he will enjoy during the recovery period. My email is jomoseley57 at gmail dot com

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  24. Read the update with tears in my eyes. I too have refreshed and refreshed many times. Continuing to pray over you and your sweet boy. And boy oh boy does PINK look good on him.

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  25. WE ARE ALL IN LOVE!! And continue to stand in awe!!!
    Mary

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  26. Oh Sonia! I love you! I love your sense of humor, your good will, and your pureness of blogging! I am praying for you sweet sister in Christ! xoxo

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  27. Thank you friend for taking time to update, we know you are beyond exhausted. Continuing to pray for all that is going on, and for healing for your Asian Sensation/Houdini/Cutest seven year old (pink) boy ever! And of course for your strength as you make your way through these uncharted waters. He is faithful!

    Much love,

    Tina

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  28. All I can say is...OH MY GOODNESS!! Talk about a crazy ride indeed. Praying continually for your miracle boy!!!

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  29. So honored to have met you beautiful son in China...we think of your family daily and send big hugs to you all. Hang in there Mama!

    Diane

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  30. That is one serious roller coaster ride. I'm with you...I don't like them either. I get all puky. :) I'm thinking about you guys and lifting you up in prayer!!!
    Love you - CO

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  31. Oh Sonia! What a week you all have had. Cont to pray for you and that his little body will get used to all the new circulation w/o any major problems.

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  32. Praying for your family! So thankful he is improving! Just a thought...don't know if you're already doing this or not, but my husband and I kept a journal that we passed off to each other with everything that went on with our son medically so that if we traded off the other could quickly remember what happened each day (we were on the extended stay plan) ;)and it helped a lot when we were discussing things with doctors. Praying that you have found a way to get some rest and that your crew at home is doing well too!
    Angela

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  33. Oh my wonderful sweet Sonia. My heart aches for you. Glad to hear they found some meds to work. How scary the days have been for you all. HANG IN THERE! God is always with you. I had a dear friend who's son had a brain injury from a car accident. He was unconcious and sedated and managed to break open his wired shut jaw three times before they gave up trying to keep it shut.
    Praying for you, John all the boys and especially for Joshua. Love you!

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  34. Hey girl...your blog still won't let me comment from mine, but I just had to tell you that I have been praying for you constantly. I can't even imagine all that you two have been through these past few days!! Praying for complete healing for your little guy and a little rest for his mama!!!

    Jennifer (baseballstobows)

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  35. Nope. Not me. I am not a roller coaster gal either. Oh my. What a ride. God brings JJ to mind countless times through my days and I am covering him (and his precious family) in prayer. Grateful for the good news. Love & Blessings, Kim

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