Monday, May 7, 2012

I Feel The Need To Tell You

that you guys are incredibly smart.




Of course I came to this conclusion years ago
but the true extent of my non-cerebral self became glaringly obvious in 
The Great Spaghetti Blending Debacle of 2012. 

I had no idea.
I had no idea about gluten
and blending of pasta
and so on
and so forth
and such as
the Iraq.

First of all,
I was using
not a VitaMixer
not a Cuisinart
not even a real blender


A margarita machine.
I'm so ashamed.
That is my blender.
It's what I have.
My current choices are "shave"
or "blend."
And I've sorta figured out that is not going to work for me in this here circumstance. 

Moreover, I put a bit of butter and chicken broth in
with said cooked spaghetti and thatsit. 
No sauce.
No nuthin.
It's how the boy likes it
so that's what I put in it. 

So now after reading all your tips I

A: Feel like a complete tool.


B: Now know all about gluten and acidity of non-existent tomato based sauces and such. 

And for the record,
I have yet to try any more blended food....
and neither has he wanted me to.
I do believe I have scarred the child for life.

Moreover, we went to the surgeon today for a checkup and Jason has already lost 8 pounds.
8 pounds in 6 days.

I don't want to talk about that. 

But truly, in better news,
his surgeon was far from concerned,
said this was normal,
said the weight loss should taper off 
and will be un-wiring the poor teenager on Thursday, June 7th.

Which is my new favorite day.

Here's what Jason thought of the news:

That's Jason.
And that is a whole lotta metal.

See that giant crack on his lower right jaw?
That would be the point of impact.

The other break is harder to see

 but that's it right under his un-erupted bottom left wisdom tooth.

And this
is him and his dorky mom the morning of surgery

He puts up with me.
And I love him for it.
And that would be his dad giving him bunny ears.
It's seriously like we are 12 years old or somethin.
Please don't tell anybody.

And this was his legs when I went back to recovery to see him.

Gigantor's legs don't even fit in the bed.
Which made me chuckle.

And then I saw this

Drugged up, knocked out, but darnit, kid still has his phone.
Which was actually pretty sweet.
Kids from his class were texting him scriptures and prayers of support all morning.
Which just makes this mom's heart smile.

And then there was the not so funny thing we discovered that day during the routine pre-op stuff.
That'd be this:

That'd be Jason's spine.
Jason's very curvy spine.
Jason's very curvy spine that we had no idea was curvy but now it makes sense why his brother is surpassing him in height.

We have no idea what the heck this means just yet.
They have ordered a scoliosis series to be done....
but ya know....
that would involve yet another doctor...
and yet another waiting room....
and well....just not now.
Later this week perhaps.....but just not now.
I'm currently operating on a one thing at a time approach to life between hearts and clefts and jaws and now this.

I'm off now to blend {in my friend Julee's borrowed actual blender...thanks Julee!}
a pint of Ben & Jerry's Late Night Snack Ice Cream into a milkshake.
60 grams of fat
16 grams of protein
plus all the goodness that the whole milk that goes with it brings.

Just don't say the word spaghetti anytime soon
and we can still be friends.

So I guess that about sums it up.
I'm a dork.
Ya'll are not.
And I am continually grateful that you love me anyway.


  1. And are you going to have that milkshake because you are such a "tool"????


  2. I couldn't read much past the "and the Iraq" cause I was laughing sooooo hard! :) Wouldn't want to have my jaw wired shut, but sure would enjoy dropping 8 pounds in 6 days. Yes, that I'll take! :)

  3. Oh totally rock!!! I love that you still have a sense of humor. Probably how you deal with it. I think I need me some of that!!!! :)

    With the whole doctor thing.....totally get it. Little man needs lots of doctors appointments, but my at a time please! I can't deal with 4 doctors apts and follow ups and therapy. I will drown.

    PRAYING for your family. For your brave son! For you :)

  4. Okay ... sounds like our 15 year old boy has the same build as Jason. And therefore I totally get your concern about 8 pounds lost in 6 days. There have got to be some hi protein powder mixes to add to that milkshake to boost the caloric intake!
    Keep us posted on the recovery. And that back!
    And we will keep praying!
    Love & Blessings,

  5. love you and your blog. praying for you both.

  6. Adding Jason's spine to the prayer list! And I agree, you might need to have a milkshake too!

  7. Girl . . . oh my. First may I say that blender skills or no blender skills, I love ya the same. Like the cell phone in your knocked out boy's hand, love the love that was coming in on it from his friends! The curvy spine, oh my--praying. One day at a time friend.

    Love from Texas,


  8. Heehee, cooking like Martha Stewart - spagetti goo for you and a margarita for me!! After a horrible no good day with stupid people, I am going to bed with a smile on my face!!

  9. Sonia . . oh how I understand. We just had testing done for scoliosis for our youngest son, and after his appointment walked out with 9 scripts for appts, blood work, AFO's etc . . honestly, like you I am just not ready for another round . . but I know He has our back! I will be saying even more prayers for Jason in the upcoming weeks . . and for you my friend!!!

  10. Sonia, sending big gigantic e-hugs your way. My oh my. Glad your sense of humor is intact! Hang in there Jason... Prayers for all of you!

  11. Poor sweet little fella!
    I know how to blend up some good apple sauce! It's not going to put on the poundage though! That's the extent of my blending abilities!
    I wouldn't worry about the scoliosis. I have a wavy spine and I wore a brace (not very well, mind you) for several years and they talked surgery but my parents said no. I'm really glad they did! It's not debilitating and considering his size and the fact that they just saw it he will do even better! According to our chiropractor you can spend a long time on chiro treatments and fix it too. Its not invasive. Just time consuming! Be sure to look into it!! A little massage therapy for mother and son may work wonders too!! Sheri


    This is an easy blender recipe for a cold cucumber/avacado soup. I tried it today, and it's wonderful.

  13. I had my jaw wired shut years ago and could only have broths (yogurt and applesauce were too thick) for 6 weeks. I lost 15 pounds I didn't need to lose, but once I was unwired I quickly gained it back, plus another 15! I just couldn't stop eating!

  14. Hey gurl. Trying to get caught up... has anyone mentioned the Magic bullet? someone I was talking to thought it might be a good "blender" for me with Daniel as we are gearing up for him. Let me know whatcha think.
    Also.. how do you feel about setting aside a section on your blog for a "blending section" :O) LOL you know so mom's like me can "go-to_ cuz you are gathering info from others, in a central spot (your blog).
    Okay.. maybe you already are waaay ahead of me and I just need to read more.. Bob has been gone since end of Feb and I am wrapping up school- getting geared up for move - Im trying to copy receipts as fast as i can!!
    By the way, Anyone out there know a great Cleft team in or around Raleigh, NC?? :O)