Thursday, July 5, 2012

Hit A Nerve.


I can't thank you all enough for your comments and emails the past two days about not knowing when Enough is Enough. 

I sobbed over read over each and every one and gained some great insight into how to cope/deal/move forward with the cry of my heart.

The running theme was definitely that I am not alone.
And I love that about all of you.
I love that you get it.
You really get. it.

You all have been there
and seen it.
And held and cared and cried over the one's left behind.

I loved reading your own stories about how you struggled with the same things,
how you have more children in your home now because you were willing even when you thought you were done.
Or how you don't have more coming now because you know that just not the time. 

So I awake today with a new perspective.
Still burdened
but realizing that I am not called to go, go, go.
I'm called to love, love, love.

HIM first. 
Them second.

And honestly.....


I think at times I was flip-flopping those two priorities.

That was hard to admit.

So for now,
my willing heart is here.
It's open to what He would have of me.

And that
for now
is enough.

Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart thank you.

*Working on catching up with emails, please don't think I am ignoring you!! My kids just keep taking over the computer with MineCraft. Ahhhhhhh!! *


  1. Thank YOU, Sonia...that is a HUGE fault of mine...putting them first before Him - YIKES. Thanks for that conviction! :-)

  2. I totally get it. Why doesn't everyone get it? I know, I know. Most of them never will. It hurts me, I want to scream at my friends. Why aren't you adopting!! It will change your life!! How can you be so selfish!! But I bury it and go on about my day. My hubby texted me today and said "I want a dog". Well I want to make another payment to LIfeline so be quiet. We have two in China we are waiting to bring home. HIV babies. Will 7 be enough for us? I hope not. I have more love, no more beds or closet space, but I do have more love. Bring em on.

  3. Right there with you. I need to remember God first. He knows where each child is and what they are dealing with. But yeah, we have 'just one more' waiting in China and 'then we're finished' We are giving a talk at church on Wed nite about adoption...gonna give the job to someone else...there are a bunch of young couples in our church...gonna wake 'em up!

  4. One summer I wanted so badly to go on a mission trip to China and all doors closed. It was obvious I was not meant to go. I was sad and a dear Christian at church told me that my mission field at the time was my home. How right she was! Maybe yours is to? Just ask God what His will is. You just need to be in his perfect will.

  5. I loved your post on NHBO's. We adopted our 4th son about a year ago. I would love to adopt another but his medical needs are more severe than we thought so for now we say we are done. BUT... I have to wonder how God will work in the future. I had to laugh when you said your kids are playing Mine Craft. That is what my kiddos are doing right now.