Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Uncomfortable.

We've been home about 12 weeks.
In our ongoing quest to make the boys fully comfortable here we have found that
at times
it necessitates making them
uncomfortable.

Case in point.
I love saying case in point. 
Does it make me sound lawyerish? 
Do I sound really intelligent when I say that? 
I like sounding intelligent. 
Especially cuz I tend to make up words like "lawyerish."

But I digress...

Case in point... 
apples for snack after school.
Weeks 1-10 at home
you get your very own plate of apples from which to eat.
This makes you very, very happy.

Weeks 11 + at home
I'm putting a big plate of apples in the middle of the table and we can all
~gasp~
share.
This makes you slightly uncomfortable.

The first time I tried this
(which...btw is how I typically serve apples....because hello... less dishes this way.....and hello.....mama likes less dishes)
they immediately started grabbing as many as their tiny little hands and mouths could hold.
Alrightythen.
Choking hazard aside,
I realized at that moment
that I was on to something.

How can you possibly relax and fully settle into a family until you realize that your needs
....apple and otherwise....
will be fully met?

And how can you realize this if you've never experienced it? 

So there we began.
1 giant plate of apples.
And we sit around that table together
chit-chatting about our day
casually and leisurely eating
one
cut
up
apple
at
a
time.

And when that plate is empty for them to be able to see me get up and cut some more
is
a
gift.

Case in point #2
I object! 
Sustained!
You're out of order!
No you're out of order!
You can't handle the truth! 
~Ahem~ 
sorry. 

When we need to gently correct them or speak to them about something they have a hard time physically coming near us.

They
are
scared.
So, so incredibly scared.

I won't go into why
....I'm sure you can {sadly} figure that out....
but insisting that they come over to us when we are speaking to them is yet another way that they are learning correction lovingly.
Check it out.
We're not screaming at you
we're not hitting you
we are merely speaking to you.
And they relax a little bit more.

So for better or worse this is what we have found in the last few weeks.
That making them uncomfortable is actually helping them to heal.

I think this is also such a picture of the love that the Lord has for us.
Our growth is in the valley.
Our growth is when we step out
when we leave what we know
when we are uncomfortable.
Because that's where He is. 
And that's what the boys are learning.
Their past is familiar,
their old ways are comforting
but there's such life outside of that.
There is such love waiting for them beyond that.

Just thought I would share that experience with you
I would tell you more
but I have to go study for the bar exam
and buy a power suit.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9


19 comments:

  1. As a court reporter, I say "Go pass that bar exam!"
    As the mama of a child adopted at an older age, I say, "Well done and well said!"
    We're off the record; you are dismissed :)

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  2. You have never sounded wiser!
    Beautiful post of what it means to be loved. Unconditionally.
    You are one great Mama!
    Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,
    Kim

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  3. I want to meet you and your beautiful family in person. Because, I must know...are you always this funny? A perfect mix of funny with an important message.

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  4. you really do make me laugh, you know that?

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  5. You are doing an awesome job. Our family adopted a 4 yr. old daughter from China and it is much harder than the first adoption of an infant! Those little ones have gone through much more than we even want to imagine! Thank God for folks like you who are willing to adopt and nurture these hurting little souls! God bless you!

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  6. Two things-

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! You crack me up!

    You were SOO on to something there with the apples. Your doing awesome with them and I am so happy to hear about all the adjustments! 18+ months on we're still adjusting...does it ever truly end when there is trauma in the past? Only in Jesus is there complete healing!

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  7. And so, have I ever told you how giddy I get when I see you have written a new post? Know why? You are so real, you are walking the walk and you are pretty funny too!! Another great post...may we all find our "uncomfortable" spots and receive the comfort that Jesus offers!

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  8. Sonia,

    You are hilarious. I love you write a very thought provoking post but it still makes me smile while reading it.

    Good job, Mom I am sure your sense of humor helps around the house.

    Hugs,
    Robin

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  9. I love reading your posts! Your not only funny, your thoughtful, caring and soo loving!!
    Krista D

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  10. Sonia, I just love you girlfriend! You are so funny and yet so incredibly wise all at the same time! Thank you!!!

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  11. Amen sista! You are so funny girl. Wise too. I am so thankful that you are transparent with all of us, those who have walked this journey, those that are now and those that will. :)

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  12. This is an awesome post. I love hearing about your observations of your sweet boys and their transitions. And for what it's worth...I think you'd make a great lawyer :)

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  13. Beautiful post, Sonia. You certainly have a way with words. I just have one, ummmm, objection. Or maybe more like an observation. Lawyers are really not as smart as they're made out to be. I know 'cause I'm married to one. And you know, back in college, I used to help him with his homework. Just sayin'

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  14. thank you for your (almost) daily posts. i check/stalk until your next post for a bit of real life and laughter. a home school mama of 5 under 10, sometimes you are my only adult "interaction" all day...'cause i sit around on the internet and eat bon bons. xoxo

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  15. I love how you can make a sermon out of that!!

    You're awesome!

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  16. You are such a hoot! :) Love it!
    I love that you share these moments. You are such a wonderful example!

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  17. I love me some lawyer with a side of funny! And I love how the Lord is giving you wisdom for every.single.situation. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, and your humor with us, Sonia. You caused many a smile today!

    Love you,

    Tina

    Psalm 17:8 Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.

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  18. You never cease to amaze me, Sonia. I am so blessed to have made a small connection with you thru our similar journeys. I am so thankful you asked me to deliver gifts to your boys, as meeting them was a huge highlight on our trip...just as reading your blog is a highlight to my life.

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  19. Sonia, I just recently found your blog, and I love it! You are one funny woman! And since we have just begun the paperwork to adopt an 8 year old boy from China, I will be checking back often to see how you handle various things with your boys. Thanks so much for your honesty and willingness to share.

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