Saturday, August 18, 2012

Well That Was Almost Bad....

really bad.

This is what's new around here.

What the?

He is nearly 6ft tall.
He's a sophomore.
His feet are ginormous.
He can throw down a bowl or 12 of pasta like nobody's biness
And now
he drives.

He has been mastering his new skill recently.....
on base. 
Ya know,
25mph speed limit.
Controlled environment.
Little to no risk factors occurring here barring any pelicans that decide to fly in front of the vehicle.

We began with the largely uninhabited area of the base...
also known as the golf course.
Around and around and around and ahhhh-round we went.
And he was rockin it.
Stopping: Check.
Accelerating: Check.
Avoidance of palm trees, wildlife and utility poles: Check. Check. Check.

So last week we moved on to the rest of the base during after duty hours when the stoplights flash yellow and it's only him and 2 other people on the road.
Around and around and around we went.

Progressing, he then graduated to driving during populated times of day.
It's all an adventure.
So around and around and around and ahhhh-round we went.

Until today.
Today he drove us home from Jack's hockey practice off base.
Ya know.
In a real city.
With lots of real people.
And real cars driving next to you.
And speed limits that are a teensy bit higher than 25.

He did well.
Very well
very well until...

Until we approached the main gate coming back on base and he was trying to
  1. get his ID card out of his wallet, 
  2. roll down the window to give it to the guard 
  3. and....ya know...... 
  4. drive
all. at. the. same. time.

In case you were unaware,
15 year old boys are capable of doing roughly 1/2 to perhaps 1 thing at a time.
2 is unheard of.
3 is downright insanity.

You've seen these before yes?

Have you ever driven through one?

Well, mercifully we haven't either but letmetellya....
today we came about a foot away from doing so when he slams on the brakes and skids to a stop just before that arm said hello to the front bumper of my Suburban.

It was sudden.
It was slightly jarring.
And my nerves are still lying alongside the road

We {quite quickly} had a couple of nice police men right at the window.
They saw who was driving
proceeded to have a good laugh at his expense,
and regaled us with stories of their own initial driving experiences. 

Off base driving day 1.
I call that "success.?

I need a drink.


  1. And just think...he's the first of many, many to come. hehehe

  2. My son has only had his license for two years and he has gotten a speeding ticket, hit a deat, hit another car, hit a ditch, and got his by a drunk driver. Praise god for protection on these kids! Thankfully I have a few years to go before another driver comes of age.

  3. Nerve wracking for sure!!! I have 3 teens on the road...I feel your pain.

  4. Can't stop laughing and seriously ... luv your way with words!

  5. Listening to you and Cindy makes me really glad zachary will only be 13 this week! Nervous already!!

  6. Oh my and he is the first...maybe you can skip a few birthdays they won't notice.
    We don't have a nice quiet base to practice on, and one day there was a big SUV (looked big to me) coming at us on our side of the road....between the protecting angel doing overtime and sonny boy's practice w/ computer driving games (according to him) he managed to swerve and we all survived!

  7. You are killin me. I can totally relate to this post. Our oldest got his permit this summer. Suddenly I have feeling thankful for no gate w/ ID required!

  8. Quite possibly you should talk to your husband about his driving abilities at Jay's age!!!

  9. lol...Cracking up over this! Bryce backed into a mailbox 3 days after he got his license! I have definitely aged since he got his permit!!

  10. My son has been 14 for five days now and has yet to ask us if he can get his driver's permit here in the great state of Iowa. I think he can sense that it would just be a big, fat old NO. He's my quite, brilliant, compliant child, for which I am grateful at times like these. I have 8 years to plot my move out of state before the two little wild men are of an age to clamor for their right to the road. I mean, seriously, 14! What is Iowa thinking!? We're not all farmers here, ya know.