Saturday, March 16, 2013

Ni Hao JFK!

I'm here!
I'm here and I feel a bit like Buddy the Elf.
I keep walking and smiling at people and saying Good Morning to which I get....well....ummm
So this is New York aye?
Does somebody need a hug?
I am currently sitting in a dark alley with some new friends I made, don't worry, they appear to be very nice and all of their tattoos are spelled correctly. I sit here because it turns out you can't go anywhere around here without a boarding pass.....which I can't get until Lori gets here cuz she kinda has my passport. Whoopsie.
The flight was bummmppyyy. Which made me blast praise music into my headphones at an abhorrent volume and pray without ceasing.
I was sitting in the middle seat(holla middle seat peoples!) and across the aisle from me was a grown man with a sheet that he would throw over his head everytime it became turbulent.


Grown man.

Grown man and a sheet.
Now it was at that point that I thought a couple of things:
#1: I wonder if there is room under that sheet for both of us, perhaps it's a refuge of sorts and the sheet offers protection against turbulence.
& #2: What the ever lovin heck is a grown man doing with a sheet on this two hour flight.
Ahhh bless him.
Whatever gets your through dude, whatever gets you through. I'm not judging you, I think you are awesome.

As I was getting off the flight the lady in front of me and I began chit chatting...{ name is Sonia....and I do not know a stranger.} We talked all the way down to baggage claim at which point I shared that I had high hopes of spending these 5 hours in downton Manhattan touring the Empire to have my when Harry met Sally moment and checking out Rock Center to which she promptly offered for me to join her in her car service that she had already rented.
I almost went.
She is from  my city, owns her own photography studio, has always wanted to adopt.
I'm telling you....I was one breath away from taking her up on her offer.
I apparently have no boundaries and will get in cars with strangers. I totally think I would survive living in NYC just fine thankyouverymuch because really, so far today I've almost gotten under a sheet with an old man, and gotten into a car with a lady.

Problem is I asked my Facebook posse a week ago if 5 hours was long enough to take in NYC(I've never been here before) and I got a resounding N to the O.

So I declined. I told her I wasn't allowed. My Facebook friends said so.
We said our goodbyes, I got her business card for our next photo ops and then wisely spent $5 on a luggage cart.  Hello. Somebody overpacked and this stuff is heavvvy.
I rode something called an Air Train, took an elevator or 3 and then stepped out into the fresh NYC morning air where it was a balmy 30 degrees and I am dressed like the beach. I briskly Walked fast enough to not get frostbite while acting like all the people around me bundled up in coats, scarves &  mittens were overreacting.... walked back inside the terminal to check in. Heard a thump, kept walking and a minute later realized that thump was my backpack with my.. gasp.... camera inside. As the shuttle bus approached I did the rational thing by running out in front of it to rescue my backpack.
I am awesome.
One elevator to go.
I think.

I had no real idea where I was going. I was just following all of the pretty signs.
I enter the elevator, consumed with ensuring nothing fell off the cart again and it was then that I realized that in this elevator, in a rather deserted part of the airport, it was only me and two guys named Vinne and Carl who looked like they could kick my butt. It was as the doors closed behind the three of us that I realized I was alone with two rather large gigantor men so I promptly invited Jesus to join us in the elevator. He did. And Vinnie and Carl were nice and it turns out they were just on their way to the pizza shop to start cooking for the lunch crowd.
Ok, I'm not sure their names are Vinnie & Carl, or that they own a pizza shop. But it's New York and in the interest of stereotyping I imagine they make the greatest pie in all of NYC and they shout things like, "Norm!" when their favorite customers walk in.
Now might be a good time to mention that I have been up since 3:45am.

So it's here I sit with my $3.38 bottle of water.
Waiting for Lori.
Just waiting and watching a bunch of drivers dressed in black with cool hats hold signs with people's name on them as people come down the elevator. One of the signs says, "Merl." I can't tell you how much I want to walk over there and say, "Hi there, I am Merl. Thank you for meeting me."
Love it.
More later, Lori should be landing soon.



  1. You are a riot! Always, ALWAYS make ma laugh. Have a good trip!

  2. Hi Merl! It's so nice to have a spot to come to and get my humor fix again! So excited for you and Lori. Enjoy this whole new way of traveling--not a single little person.