Sunday, March 10, 2013

What the Heck

What the heck was I thinking when I decided that Yep, I could leave my kids for two weeks and travel to the other side of the world.
No problem.

Never mind I have never spent more than two nights away from them.....ever.....and even then I think it's been twice that has happened.
In 16 years. 
Never mind that small factoid. I'm sure it holds no relevance here.....

So I'm not sure what kray-kray thought decided to take over the reasonal rational functioning portion of my brain and shout out, "Yep! Sounds great!"
And it did sound great......all those months ago when I said yes.

But here's the problem.
All those months are now past and now I find myself 5 days from leaving.

And now it's real.
And now I'm going to miss them

Now I reckon I do not reside in fantasyland so let's just assume that yes..
Yes it's true that me curled up with a venti starbucks and the Stuck documentary that I have downloaded sitting in peace and quiet does have a certain je ne sais quoi quality about it.
But long can that last?


I'm guessing 3 hours tops.
Long enough to finish the documentary.
Long enough to read Bridge to Nowhere.
It will be long enough.
And it's at the end of those 3 hours that I will look up from my comfy chair in the airport and realize that it's 3 hours down and oh so many maaannnnyyyy hours and days to go.

So though I am incredibly excited to serve Lori and do what I can to make her laugh and have fun and take away any obstacle I humanly can to free her up to just be able to love on her new sweet son,
the ugly cry is coming people.
It's coming. 

Suggestions for not making a complete fool of myself as I sob in the corner of the airport are welcome.

Because these faces
Oh these sweet faces.....

take my breath away.

Thank you Jesus for the honor & incredible privilege of being their mother.

Back to packing the Kleenex now.
Mounds & Muh-ounds of kleenex.


  1. The hardest part is actually leaving them. The week before I left my babies to go to China, I was a HOT MESS. I gave them whatever they wanted out of mama guilt. When I had to actually say good-bye to After I got on the plane, I was fine! I was fine on the whole trip, thanks to FaceTime and Skype. Even when my sweet little girl would say, "Mama, i missed-ed you. I want you to come home." Just get through the next five days, and its a piece of cake after that!

  2. They will appreciate you so much more when you come back home. I have traveled to China with a friend when she adopted her daughter. SO HARD not to come home with a child!!!! Enjoy your time!

  3. Praying for your heart, you Sweet Mama, you! I know you love the sons He gave you. Period. Try to enjoy yourself. Rest in the knowledge that He knew you would be going loooong before you were even born! He's got your back and those of your Hubby and sons. Now Go! Learn. Love. Witness. You'll be back home before you know it. Hugs ~ Jo

  4. I have thought about this lots! My husband and I will be going to China late this year to get our daughter in Zhengzhou, leaving 6 at home, the youngest of whom will be just shy of 2... But one day, the Lord gave me this verse:
    "What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, does not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?" Luke 15:4
    If Jesus would leave a flock of 99 for one sinner, then how can we not leave our flock to bring home one treasure? Blessings to you as you accompany your friend, I will pray for your mama's heart! :)

  5. I'm having the same thoughts about leaving my two littlest soon - although 10 days is still far enough away that sometimes the peace and quiet is appealing. The actually goodbye isn't going to be pretty though.

  6. Well if it makes it any easier, I have never left mine for 2 weeks either! We can distract ourselves by watching DA and completing multiple conversations without being interrupted by any of our 10 little blessings! Besides...think of the laundry and dishes we won't have to do! :-)

  7. been there done that 4 times sweety--

    it IS ugly

    it WILL BE the hardest part of your trip

    and for me it lasts until i get on the big ole jumbo jet headed over the pond-- then the excitement kicks in--

    and while you WILL miss them--

    you will be able to:

    A) finish a book
    B) finish a thought
    C) not do anyone else's laundry
    D) drink a starbucks
    E) go pee by yourself

    oh wait-- that last one's mine--- at least it better me Sonia- cuz ig you're not peeing by yourself by now-- we need to talk.

    F) you don't have to cut others' meat up

    oh wait-- me again.

    G) you can shop without others saying, "Are we done yet?"

  8. I have been to China twice, leaving my kiddos and husband behind both times. The first trip I brought home my sweet daughter and the second time I went with a friend.She had traveled with me. I dreaded leaving my kids as well. I had never,ever left them other than over night. Once. Not to mention than we are a homeschooling family so I am ALWAYS with them. The first time, I cried and cried to the point I made my kids start crying ;(. That being said, as soon as the plane took off, God gave me a complete peace. I know I was doing the work he had called me to do. I actually enjoyed the time away. I had so much fun with my friend and time we would never ever normally have had together! We laughed until we cried and had more starbucks than I would normally be able to afford!! For me, knowing they were asleep while I was awake somehow made it easier for me. However, since you are not getting your own child, certainly take at least one book and many magazines. I came back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle being a full time mom again! Enjoy and relax! and selfishly, if you do not mind, BLOG A LOT while you are there! I really enjoy it when you do ;)!

  9. It always sounds so good when it's a ways away! I pray my way through it every time!
    God Bless you!!

    Now go and have some fun!

    bring a good book! or two! or three!

  10. Yeah, the actual night before was awful. I had never been away from my hubby that long. and only once for my kids when we went for our oldest daughter 10 years ago. I wasn't sure I could do it...but God gave me grace, one minute at a time.
    Once I was on my way and we had to wait 6 hrs for out flight I was SO glad it was only me and my niece.
    Take a book or niece finished 4 books while I was doing the bonding, naptime stuff w/ my daughter. If you are sharing the room, take ear 2-y.o. kept all of us awake for too long.