Obvious enough I guess but ever since about day 2 with the boys I no longer see them as two tiny Chinese boys.
I
only
see
my
sons.
Now I will say during our paperchasing months as I would see other Caucasian mothers out and about with their little Asian children
But a funny thing happens to you when you become that mother....
you
don't
see
it
anymore.
Does that make any sense?
Every now and then I have to remind myself when we are out and about why we are getting so many stares and polite smiles
To me
it's just us.
It's just our family.
They are just my children.
Of course every now and then the difference does have a way of reaching up and smacking you in the head.
Yesterday I had to take Jacob to a different, new doctor to get some meds for a rash and as the nurse was asking me for the rundown on things like
Exposed to second hand smoke - No.
Eating well - yes.
Sleeping well - yes.
Any history of chronic illness or cancer in the mother or father - no.
Oh
wait.
Sorry.
I
mean
unknown.
And there in that room
at that moment
I
remembered.
And I gotta tell you, it was both a great moment and a terribly sad one all at the same time.
Great that I am so in love with these boys, and have such a firm grasp on the fact that I am their mother that it didn't even phase me to say no when asking about John and mine's health history.
And terribly sad that the truth is in fact unknown.
And then I had to keep answering
unknown
unknown
unknown.
So many of her questions....
unknown.
So here I will stand.
In the gap between what we do know and what only their birth parents and the Lord knows.
And somehow
someway
that's gonna be alright.
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Filling in the information sheet at Wesleigh's first dr. appt. kind of slapped me in the face. I had the same response when we went.
ReplyDeleteI've found myself saying to people that my girls don't even look chinese anymore to me...lol...funny how when you love someone so much that you don't even see their differences anymore.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with the sadness of having to say "unknown" to such important information for our children, but thankfully it's not "unknown" to God.
Oh, how I dislike writing "unknown" or "na" across an entire page of medical history, and explaining to so many different drs. that, no, we know NOTHING of our child's birth history. How much harder it must be to our children as they get older, not knowing.
ReplyDeleteSonia - I think that's one of those little things that's actually huge and hard to prepare for. Sitting in the doctor's office and having to answer unknown. :( But wonderful that they are already just family. Nothing different to the 8 of you! ;) Hugs and continued prayers, my friend!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! They are forever your family already...how wonderful is that. How quickly we forget that they don't look like us when we can identify their tiny voices immediately in a crowd. "Unknown" is something we as parents will help them with and God will guide us through it as he guided us to them! Love these little Chinese boys!!
ReplyDeleteSonia,
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite quotes I have ever heard is "I have 2 adopted children, I forget which 2!" Isn't it amazing how soon they are just your children...not Chinese..not adopted...just your children! I firmly believe that it is because God planned from the beginning that they would be your children!
Hugs,
Robin
As an adopted child...adult, I can say that I do the same thing. I say no to all those medical questions because MY PARENTS don't have any medical history, at least, the only parents I know and love! So, even though, my history is unknown...I refer to the only history I know- my awesome parents, the ones who raised and loved me. The ones I thank God for each day! The ones who saved me from a life that could not compare to the life they gave me! And one day, those 2 boys will think the same way as you...that your history is their history - because you loved them as your own!!
ReplyDeleteOH girl ... been there done that and it never gets easier. The previous comment fills me with hope. I pray the twins will feel the same way!
ReplyDeleteLove & Blessings from Hong Kong,
Kim
I'm always so surprised when I find people staring at our family...I always think, "What are they looking at?" And then it hits me...oh yeah, we're not typical. But, it sure seems to me that we are!
ReplyDeletes- i remember the first time someone pointed out to me that my 6 month old daughter was AA. i had to take a second look 'cause she was just baby M and i had long ago stopped taking note of her skin color. now i notice it all the time 'cause it is so pretty and i am a bit jealous! as a side note whe was not a P.C. about it as the note suggests...
ReplyDeleteSonia,
ReplyDeleteYour words are so honest. Reading this story makes the need for adoption so much more real. Knowing that there are many a kids to come home is overwhelming at the least but reading your personal stories and insights makes it that much more touchable and helps us understand why it is so incredibly important! I'm not sure if I am communicating what I am trying to say, but thank you for sharing your thoughts, stories, and oh so adorable pictures! It breaks my heart (in a good way!) :) Love following along!