Our Dual Adoption Issues Vol. 1

followed by some cute pictures.

Before I begin to delve ever so slightly into sharing our experiences over the last week let me say thank you SO much for your supportive comments on my last post.
I have printed them out
and promptly
taped them to my forehead.

I needed to hear your encouragement and very much expect to need them again
many
many
times
thus I decided my forehead was the perfect place for safe keeping especially because the rest of my house looks like a bomb exploded in it and I wouldn't be able to find said list anywhere else.
And really, if we're not going to be honest then what's really the point? 

Where to even begin.....
as I mentioned and you read about, our time in China was incredible.
It was truly remarkable how easy the transition was and I am ever thankful that the issues we are experiencing now waited until we got home to begin.
Dealing with all of this
over there...
well
that would have been ugly.

I think they felt safe there.
And here?
Well, notsomuch.

This week has reminded me a lot of when we first brought the twins home.
2 more kids in the blink of an eye.
It's parenting on steroids.
Oh wait....that sounded wrong....I am not on the 'roids or anything....that's not what I meant.....oh nevermind.
Only this time instead of two newborns that I could just cuddle and feed and love I feel like I've given birth to a couple of scared 7 year olds who don't speak my language.
And the difficulty level gets ratcheted up a notch or 12.

Instead of scooping up a baby...or a 7 year old....and being able to fully focus on that child and his needs your attention is divided.
And divided attention when they are both crying or scared or mad is well
challenging.

I am but one.
One mom.
One non-Mandarin speaking mom.

Personality wise the boys are
Night and day.
Black and white.
Apples and oranges.

Joey by personality is very snuggable.
I just made up a word.

Joey can be comforted by holding, snuggling, and rocking as he silently cries sobs.
Jacob by personality or more accurately, circumstance is not very snuggable.
I don't think anyone ever really cared to pay him much attention the last few years.
So comforting him as he cries very un-silently in whatever hidden location in our house he has placed himself is just different.
Heartbreakingly different.

When one is upset and being comforted by one of us they are quick to let the other one know.
Which results in some building animosity between the two of them.
Periodically they will say some rather un-kind things to one another in Mandarin which sets the other one off thus leaving me on constant alert for that subtle change in tone of their voice.
I don't speak Mandarin.
But I do speak Mom.
And there are some things you realize are happening without the need of translation.
They are scared.
They are somewhat shell-shocked.
They are ridiculously cute.
and they are loved.
They just don't know it yet.
But baby, ohhhh baby...will they ever soon.
Cuz though I am only one,
I am one who isn't going anywhere.