Much, MUCH Better!

I have a few posts in draft that I have written over the last few days
but now
none of them seem right.

It's not where we are today.
It's not where we are this moment.
It is most definitely
ever
changing.

I think I'll save them for now.
I know at the very least typing it all out helped me to really think through specifically what issues we are facing and focus bit by bit on them instead of letting the entire picture overwhelm me.
What's that they say about how to eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.

So all I have to say today,
this moment
this instant
is that it is much
much better.

The fact that we have all slept through one night has in itself made a tremendous difference in my level of emotional clarity.

Everyday I have woken up and felt a renewed sense of hope.
Even though nearly every child that calls me mom has vomited all over me in the dead of night or had a fever or needed me for a hug at 1am ever since we arrived back home.
Even though my house is a complete disaster.
Even though there is still dirty clothes sitting in suitcases from our trip emitting a toxic odor throughout the house.
Even though I have yet to get dressed or shower everyday.
Even though my coffee pot is now broken....wait....never mind....this actually is terrible news....of which I am unable to cope with....
Even though I have yet to prepare a meal that is beyond scrambled eggs or pizza rolls
Even as I had to laugh this morning at myself as I realized that I would have only 5 kids home today instead of 6 as Jack was well enough to go to school and I wondered what has happened to me when having only 5 kids felt slightly easier.
still
I am hopeful.
I have a much, much better handle on things now.

I am feeling it. 
I am feeling that this is our new normal.
And I'm lovin it.