Monday, February 7, 2011

Much, MUCH Better!

I have a few posts in draft that I have written over the last few days
but now
none of them seem right.

It's not where we are today.
It's not where we are this moment.
It is most definitely
ever
changing.

I think I'll save them for now.
I know at the very least typing it all out helped me to really think through specifically what issues we are facing and focus bit by bit on them instead of letting the entire picture overwhelm me.
What's that they say about how to eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.

So all I have to say today,
this moment
this instant
is that it is much
much better.

The fact that we have all slept through one night has in itself made a tremendous difference in my level of emotional clarity.

Everyday I have woken up and felt a renewed sense of hope.
Even though nearly every child that calls me mom has vomited all over me in the dead of night or had a fever or needed me for a hug at 1am ever since we arrived back home.
Even though my house is a complete disaster.
Even though there is still dirty clothes sitting in suitcases from our trip emitting a toxic odor throughout the house.
Even though I have yet to get dressed or shower everyday.
Even though my coffee pot is now broken....wait....never mind....this actually is terrible news....of which I am unable to cope with....
Even though I have yet to prepare a meal that is beyond scrambled eggs or pizza rolls
Even as I had to laugh this morning at myself as I realized that I would have only 5 kids home today instead of 6 as Jack was well enough to go to school and I wondered what has happened to me when having only 5 kids felt slightly easier.
still
I am hopeful.
I have a much, much better handle on things now.

I am feeling it. 
I am feeling that this is our new normal.
And I'm lovin it.

21 comments:

  1. All I can say is you amaze me. All that and you are lovin' it. Yes, you amaze me. Hallelujia!

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  2. I am feeling it all the way in California!!!! Yippee!!!

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  3. I don't even know you and I am ready to hop on a plane and help you out! Prayers being sent your way that you enjoy many more happy days and health comes to your home. Please someone who lives close, get this lady a new coffee pot!

    Mary Pat

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  4. Praying that everyone will feel well soon.
    Also praying for restful nights for all. If I lived closer, I'd be right over with a new coffee pot! Hoping one shows up in your kitchen very soon! :-)

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  5. I wish I could run a coffee pot right out to you, but I think the Canadian / USA Border officials would wonder as I try to explain..."but you don't understand, her coffee pot broke - she has 6 kids!! she NEEDS her coffee!!"
    lol
    Keep smiling!
    Krista D

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  6. Oh yay, for lights at the end of the tunnel! But no coffee pot? That's just wrong. So, so wrong. Praying your new one shows up on the counter very soon!

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  7. Getting puked on with no chance of coffee?! I don't think I could survive that. You are awesome. Praising God for a good day and looking forward to them getting better!

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  8. I'm not good with change, so "the new normal" is a tough one for me to get used too, but eventually happens. It's almost 8 months and I'm just now started to feel like we are getting used to a new normal {maybe?}. :)

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  9. I so feel you. That first week or two home was HIDEOUS! And we didn't even have puking. I think maybe in a couple weeks it will allow you to look back and say, "Hey, it was terrible, but look how far we've come now."

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  10. One bite at a time, one day at a time- it will just keep getting better (except you will have a few horrible days but they pass quickly and you'll get right back on track)!

    I really don't like the first 2 weeks- so awkward... We want them to be happy and like everything. They are scared and mourning their loss- lots of mixed up feelings.

    Praying ya'll get better soon. Being sick makes everything seem much worse than it really is. Glad you are feeling hopeful!!

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  11. I am so happy to hear that you are loving your new normal! I am sure every day will get better. I have really loved following your blog through this adoption process--you are inspirational!!

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  12. Toni and I are coming to your house this weekend and washing clothes and doing, well, stuff that you need help with. Cause we love you.

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  13. I know you don't feel like you are hanging in there,... you are doing a great job! The house a wreck...oh I remember it so well. You are focusing on the important stuff...your boys. Soon, it will be a memory...and things will be your new 'normal.' {{{{hugs}}}}

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  14. Oh girl...so feeling this with you. Lack of sleep and sickness makes everything SO.MUCH.HARDER. It will get better...it will. I've done a dual adoption, too, and the first few weeks are just brutal. But it won't last forever. Sleep helps. A lot. And your boys will go back to the sweethearts you knew in China once they realize that they are going to be loved and comfortable in this strange new world they call home.
    The vomit...well...ewww...you just really didn't need that, but for some reason, God thought it was a good thing. Have to trust Him on that one. :)

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  15. All women everywhere aspire to take on life's challenges with the humor & aplomb with which you tackled them.

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  16. Hurray! So happy there's improvement. Praying that you have 4 boys in school very soon and that the other 2 start to adjust to life here more and more. Prayers!

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  17. It's one of the MANY things that I have loved about you for a long long long time- putting family first.
    well.. that and you make me laugh.hard.all.the.time.
    ;o)

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  18. Great news!

    I know you don't know me, but I have been following your story since about Day 3 in China. I have been praying for you and praying for your family. May you all be on the upswing from here on out =).

    Caring much,
    Julie Bollinger

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  19. One day at a time...so glad things are looking up today!

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  20. It is amazing what ONE good night's sleep can do for a person! All it took for me was 1 to feel much better about things too. I am so glad things are going better!! (We didn't have all of our suitcases unpacked for months!!!!)

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  21. Girl - SO glad to hear things are on the upswing. It's so much easier to cope when you get a whole night of sleep. For. Realz.
    Love you bunches and am thinking of you lots. Call or write anytime, yo - I'm here for ya!!!!!
    CO...aka...Home Slice

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