Friday, March 8, 2013

Packed.

We leave one week from today.
Ohmygoodness.

The essentials are packed:


I believe I have done the nearly impossible.
I believe I have constructed a plan to defeat the airplane coffee service.
Is there a Nobel for that?

You know how those lovely stewardesses come along with those oh so cute petite coffee cups and offers of powdered{blech!} creamer and sugar?
Yeah.....ummmmmm......thatsnotsomuchworkingforme. 

That process of coffee service for me last trip went a little something like this:

The first round: 
Stewardess: "Would you like some coffee?"
Me: "Oh yes, thank you."

At which point she served me something resembling this:

and I stifled my laughter.
And began to panic.

Sip. Done.

She walks down the aisle and I say, "Excuse me ma'am, may I please have another cup?"
"No problem!" she says.


And again, I am presented with exactly 5ml of coffee.
Seriously?
Am I being punked?
Sip. Lick inside of cup desperate for every drop. Done.
Not cool people.
So. Not. Cool.

So the next coffee service I was a bit more mentally prepared.
It went a lil sumpin like this:

Round Two: 
Stewardess: "Would you like some coffee?"
Me: "Oh yes, thank you. May I please have 6? My husband and "family" are sleeping(never mind besides my husband that "family" consisted of young children none of whom drink coffee)
and they will want some when they wake up."
Stewardess: "No problem!"
Gulp, gulp, chug ~ chug.
Ahhhhhh so nice.
That was almost equivalent to one actual non-leprechaun cup of coffee.

So it is with this trip that I come prepared with a battle plan.
Hello instant coffee with french vanilla flavor already rolled in, I love you. I really, really love you.
It's packed in my carry on.
Along with two disposable cups and a spoon.
My theory {granted....at this point it's only a theory}
is that the next coffee scenario will look a lil something like this:

Stewardess: "Would you like some coffee?"
Me: "Actually would you mind filling these up with that hot water on your tray that you have ready for all those weird people who drink tea instead of coffe?"
At which time I will hand over my two ginormica cups already filled with the correct prescription of instant coffee.
Stewardess: "Absolutely. And I agree, tea people are strange. We can't be friends with them."
She will fill them up and I will sit back with my cozy brown sherpa blanket and my thick-cushy-only bust-them-out-for-airplane-trips socks and sip my way across the ocean.

There.
Take that mini coffee cup.
You may have one the first battle but alas
I will win the war.

So if you too will miss your children Keruig desperately while you are gone.
Join me on the good side.
We shall overcome.

10 comments:

  1. SO excited for you!! May I suggest the occasional hot chocolate packet mixed in with the instant coffee? Got me through many a foggy afternoon last week :) Hope you have a GREAT time!!

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  2. Do you like airplane bathrooms, 'cause you are going to be doin' some serious peein', Girlfriend. Just sayin'.

    Amy
    Patrick's mom who can't stand coffee (or airplane bathrooms) but ordinarily consumes 3 cans of diet (caffeinated!!!!) soda before noon. I'll take tea in a pinch.

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  3. That?! HYSTERICAL!

    I totally was cracking up...and I'm one of those "weird people" who drink tea ;-)

    Too bad you can't fly British Airways. My coffee snob friend swears one of her favorite places to have coffee is on a BA flight! (Which I guess she should thank me for - since she'd never have flown BA without me...and had we not taken that trip that introduced her to it, she'd never have met her now husband! ha!)

    So excited about your trip! And so anxious to hear what the flight attendant says when you try your proper sized and flavoured coffee trick on the plane! :-)

    Hope you blog along the way when possible so we can be praying specifically for things!

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  4. HILARIOUS! Just make sure your powder is sealed before you go through security in the US....they are likely to confiscate it or run a sample test on it. (I'm not sure what that test entails, but I would be leery to actually drink the product after they "test" it.)

    I always carry the Maxwell House coffee singles (like little coffee tea bags) in my purse in case of emergencies such as an international flight, or you know a Tuesday. Your idea takes it to the next level though - cups, lids and all!

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  5. You are so, so silly! I needed my good laugh for the day.

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  6. I thought of you when I drank my mini cup o' coffee this morning at breakfast :) Can't wait to see you in GZ!!!!

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  7. Sure you don't want to take your own mug with you? 8). You know, if and when we go again, I might just do that....there's something about holding your own mug of normalcy when everything around you is changing!

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  8. Six weeks home, and I still get anxiety when someone mentions the plane trip to China. Because to get out of China, you have to take the plane trip back to the US. And that means the worst case of Jet Lag ever. Since you are making that trip again, I assume that the anxiety goes away with time.

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  9. Oh, no. I drink tea.
    Can't we still be friends?
    ; )

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  10. LOVED it! Laughed out loud to just my dogs. Joey lost a tooth! Thanks for the pics. You were away a few nights when Joshua was in the hospital. I know you really don't want to remember that month, though.

    Loves and missing you already...
    Donna O.

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