Overdue......Start the Pitocin

I'm feelin a little overdue today.
In fact, I'm feelin a bit like I did about 8 years ago

yeah.....that's how much I love you guys that I am willing to post a picture like this. 
Very pregnant with two boys
Feelin a little overdue, even though I totally wasn't
Ankles swelling
Appetite totally out of control
Emotions all over the place.....could I have been a little more happy about my grits?! Sheesh!
And let's not even talk about the empty container of syrup. Anyone seen the movie Elf? Yeah. Syrup on everything. Buddy and I are tight.

Anyhoo, I try
for the most part
to not keep track of numbers and or dates along this adoption road.
In the beginning I did
oh boy did I ever...
and then when I felt like we were at a standstill on the side of the road while other cars zipped by us 
I was finding that it was just better for my emotional health not to be counting down the days until this journey ended or to be comparing our journey to the time line of others but to just embrace where we were at that time.

Sounds so easy to write it out.....oh sooooo much harder to live it out.

It's a bit like when I plug a new address into the GPS on a road trip and it tells me that we will arrive at our destination at 12:00 for example.....
well darnit, come 12:00 I expect to be there.
I will plan for 12. I hate to be late. If you tell me 12, I'll be there at 12. That's just how I roll.
I don't want to know nor discuss the possibility that there will be road work, construction delays, detours, if it says 12:00 then 12 it shall be.
Thus at some point it was bound to happen that I would need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of that la-la land where everything went seamlessly and according to my plan.

So when we plugged in our "We will be in China Date" into the GPS and it spit out that we should be there end of October/November I expected to be there the end of October or sometime early November.

And then we got schooled in the hard knocks of adoption.
And we are all the wiser for it.
So here we sit.......into December and we're not there yet. 

And I'm ok with that.
Ok, maybe "ok" isn't the right word.
But I have developed(man alive this has been a growing season in my life) tremendous faith that we have not missed the boat, we have not gotten behind, we are not late to the party, we'll get there.

So amongst all of this I had forgotten that I had even started a ticker at the very beginning of our adoption to track the time.
The ticker lives waaaayyyy down at the bottom of my blog so I don't often scroll down that far.
And today I happened to think of it when I saw one on someone else's blog so I took a little look:
9 months and 3 weeks.
9 months and 3 weeks since we said yes to adoption.
Said yes to two faces completely unknown to us at the time.
Said yes to this face


Said yes to this face


Said yes to what would turn out to be these two little boys, best friends, foster brothers, our sons.

 

So even though we are technically overdue and even though I sometimes find myself getting irritated that our projected arrival time on the stupid GPS isn't what it started out to be, at this point I am more often than not at peace with that......
even though I still do have my moments when I want to throw the stupid GPS out the window.
Shhhhh, don't tell my kids I said stupid.....we don't say that in our house. ;)