Saturday, June 18, 2011

Moving Mishap.

Ya know what?
We've done this a time or two or nine.
But ya know what else?
I'm still an idiot.

We ended up leaving our hotel pretty late in the morning b/c instead of packing the night before like a good lil Air Force wife, I was instead sitting poolside with our dear friends that evening chit chatting and working up the hootspa to say goodbye.
(It didn't work btw....I still ended up ugly-crying all over myself on the way up the elevator....I then almost ran into a bewildered man upon exiting said elevator with snot all over my shirt....I'm just sayin.)

So we started out on the road and I started out......for the first time......pulling a trailer behind our nimitz size vehicle.
No bigs.
It went well.

It went well
that is
until.

Until
I.
had.
to.
back.
up.

Ummmm.
Yeah.

Did you know when you go in reverse whilst pulling a stupid trailer that the stupid trailer does not in anystinkinway go where you need it to go?
Unless of course you know what you are doing.....which I......well......don't.

In fact I'm pretty sure that is where that phrased "fish tailing" was coined.
Cuz that be exactly what it looked like.
A fish tail flapping all over the dead end I managed to encounter.
At one point I glanced out  my drivers side window and I'm not kidding...the thing looked like it was parked directly next to me instead of being attached to the back of me.

This.Was.Not.My.Plan.

I knew I couldn't back up a trailer.
Granted....I'd never actually tried it before.....but I'd heard that it could be....well....tricky.....
and I'm not.....well.....dumb.
So my plan was to simply drive forward the entire trip.
Pfft, duh.

It worked.

It worked until I discovered that the gate at our new base was closed.
There are 3 gates.
Gate #1: Closed. No bigs. I turned around {going forward, holla!} and happily proceeded to Gate #2.
Gate #2: Closed.
But here's the thing......I couldn't really tell it was closed until I got right on up in it's biness.
And it.
Was down a narrow road.
And I?
I was stuck.

Now might be a good time to interject and tell you that it was nearing 11:30pm.

So I turned around and smiled at the(still awake) kids, pretended that I knew what I was doing trying to back up with the stupid trailer and gave it a go. I mean come.on. how hard can this be? I gave birth twice in one day people, I can properly fold a fitted sheet, really? A trailer is going to take me down? I.Think.Not.

And ya know what?

It didn't work. 
Nope.
That stupid thing was going every direction except where I needed it to go.

And ya know what else?

When you are parked outside of a closed base gate after hours doing all sorts of zany turning maneuvers with a rented trailer
the base po-po don't take too kindly to that.
They will show up.
With their lights flashing.
And their big guns.

Yeah. 

I called John about 5 minutes before my armed entourage arrived to ask tell him to get his booty over here and rescue me....to which he asked if I could wait a few more minutes while he checked in and got our keys.
Ummmm.....hmmmm.......letmethink.......NO.
Get.over.here.now. It is dark. There are 4 still-awake children in this car. This stupid trailer is not doing anything I ask it to do. I need help and a massive can of Febreeze. Puh-lease.come.here.now.
And like the good guy he is.....he showed up.....right about the time the guns did.

Long story too late we hadn't been on(or near) our new base 10 minutes before we had our plates, names, DNA, eye color and what grade we received in 2nd grade Math run through their system and had the K-9 unit awaiting us for a full inspection as we eventually pulled up to the one open gate at that hour.

And I was worried we'd wouldn't make a good first impression.
Pssh.

11 comments:

  1. Jeez Sonia. Had I known the kind of night you all were going to have I would have slipped a little something "stronger" than slim jims into your care basket. Looking forward to seeing you all Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Sonia,
    You make me smile EVERY time I read your blog. I am a fellow adoptive (China) mom and love following along on your adventures. I hope your move goes smoothly and that you are able to get J home quickly. Best wishes to your family!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bless your heart! I can identify! My husband is always trying to get me to learn to back up our boat and trailer "in case anything ever happens to him"! Well, I told him the boat could stay in the water and I would haul the empty trailer behind my vehicle forever if I have to if anything happens to him while we are fishing! Keep praying for you and your boys! Praying extra hard for #7 and the surgery he needs as soon as he gets to the States! God bless you!
    In Christian Love,
    Grandma to 2 from China

    ReplyDelete
  4. You always make me laugh!! I have a trailer story too! I was moving to be with my brand new husband almost 21 years ago. It is too long to tell here, but someday we should sit by the pool while all the boys swim and we can share.

    I can let you know that mine was about 11:30 pm also and I got out of the car and went inside to Jim and told him if he wanted that trailer parked he'd better get his tushie out there and move it.

    Enjoy your new location!! Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have become my much needed laugh each day. You are great and glad that you are safe at your new base.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love following, your blog is so full of life and it makes me smile as you share your adventures! Praying all goes well with the move and your journey to the next J (Roger)!

    ReplyDelete
  7. ok-- THAT is the funniest post yet-- need to bookmark it for when i'm feeling, well, down.


    and BTW--- i can't back up a minivan- so you have my sympathy!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. please write a book or something! you are hilarious.
    hang in there! God's blessings to you and yours
    laura
    ps,
    are your boys speaking only english now? do that understand alot?
    just curious where we will be in September (5 months home)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bless your heart! You crack me up. I hope you enjoy your new home. I was born and raised in that area. The Gulf beaches are great!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That is really funny! I suppose it wasn't so funny for you ... when it was happening! But still ... FUNNY.

    I can just see the po-po on you like stink on doo as my Dh would say. So ... I guess at least everyone knows who you are LOL!

    BTW, I have YET to pull our travel trailer. I'm too chicken, so you GO GIRL!

    ReplyDelete