His Past. His Healing.

This is the flower by my front door.

Pathetic I know.

But it is an interesting flower nonetheless.
Stick with me here....I'm going somewhere with this...
I promise.
This is not a horticulture lesson by any stretch.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

We have lived in this house for nearly two years.
I haven't ever planted
nor watered
a thing.

And what amazes me is that each spring this one flower,
among the death and ruin of the remaining flowers of yesteryear
continues to bloom.
It blooms despite it's circumstances.
Never watered.
Never fertilized.
Never paid any attention to sans a stray nerf bullet that sometimes sails it direction.
Nuthin.

That flower,
I love. 
That flower that I walk by everyday when I enter our home

r
e
m
i
n
d
s

me
so much of
them.

Nobody loved.
Nobody cared.
Some were just downright mean and awful.

Yet.
They.
Bloom.

Today I was playing with Jacob and tickling him and that contagious laugh of his was bursting out of him.
I did what I have done a hundred times before with our other kids.
I started gently tapping his mouth as he was laughing which
as all mothers know
makes their voice sound really funny and typically makes them laugh even more.

But today
in that moment
his past
once again
caught up with him.
And he
shut.
down.

That scared traumatized look came right back into his eyes.
The hollowness.
The emptiness.
I had apparently found yet another trigger.
That look that, in the beginning days and weeks of being home, would last for hours
came back. 

But this time
it left rather quickly.
"Please don't do that mama. XXXX in China hit mouth hard. He really mean."

Oh sweet boy.

I hugged him, he smiled, and we went right back to playing legos.

And he heals a little bit more.
And he blooms a little bit more.
And I get really angry inside and want to get on a plane and have a little what's what with that man. 
And I pray.

And not only is he blooming,
but he is choosing. 
Choosing to love.

Captive no more.
Orphan no more.
But free.

The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free. Luke 4:18