Sunday, July 24, 2011

"No Operative Indication"

That's what his file says.
"No operative indication."

The first time I read that I thought to myself
He (oddly enough) doesn't need any further treatment.
Even though that didn't....of course....make any sense with what I read and knew thus far that day about how sick he was.

But then you read on.
And you see
there in front of you
as they explain why and
what those words really mean.

The doctors over there have labeled him
"No operative indication."

So there they were, all those years ago saying no.
Nothing they can do.
And now here we are, all these years later
if there is anything anyone can do.

When she left that
2 month old baby there
on the steps in front of that hospital all those years ago
it was her hope.
It had to have been.
Someone please save him.

His file is now in the hands of the man that will try and treat him somewhat near our new home.
We expect our first phone contact with him in the coming days as we begin to discuss what, when and
the big question
Do you think you can save him?


It's where I'm at today.

But honestly.
Whether God heals him this side of heaven or not
that smile.

That says
Loves me.
Has been enough to carry me through.

Because the thing is...
he knows. 
He knows he is dying.
He knows how hard a breath is to come by.
He isn't a baby.
He isn't a toddler.
He is a very bright 7 1/2 year old boy that wants nothing more
(and watch Ultraman)
That is the hard
truth of this.

It's not for wimps.
I am part wimp.

Day 16 of the wait for LOA.
Please Lord may it be soon.


  1. I have been reading your blog for awhile and praying for your family. We are a family of 6 (4 boys :) and are in the beginning stages of adopting from China. Our second son was born with HLHS. We found out when I was 20 weeks along and I remember having these same questions and prayers. He is now 7 and brings so much joy to our lives. We live in Florida and all of his surgeries were done out of state. If you need someone to talk to or if I can help you by trying to connect you with anyone in the "heart community", please email me. Also, I know the emotions and roller coaster ride this journey entails. Every day of advocating for our children until the Lord tells us otherwise is a privilege and reminds us of what is important. Please know we will continue to pray for every detail for your sweet son, your family, and all of the medical staff involved.


  2. Oh Sonia. I will continue praying for your little, big man. ;) Gracious sakes, it makes me want to cry.
    "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

  3. Sonia,

    I got goosebumps while reading this post. Not sure why except that I am looking forward to seeing how his beautiful story unfolds, believing that we will all see his healing in a God-size amazing way.

    PS I'm part wimp too. I think God's okay with that. :)

  4. Your boy needs you! No words can express the love he already feels just knowing that you are his: His family, his parents. I am with you on this: it is hard to breath when you know you child cannot. Praying for a LOA with wings.

  5. I am covered in chills. And on my knees praying for your boy!

  6. I am a wimp too...

    I am so thankful your sweet boy is coming home and he will have a chance at life!

    Praying for your LOA!

    Beautiful post!

  7. Amen to your post, Sonia:)


  8. Tears . . .

    Praying your sweet boy home, friend. He is Able!

    Love you,


  9. I, too, am part wimp. And you are soooo right when you say adoption is not for wimps!!
    I'm so glad we have courage though!!
    Joshua needs to hurry and get home. I cannot wait to watch it all unfold!
    Love you!!

  10. Praying that LOA is VERY soon!

  11. In tears Sonia . . so many of the thoughts I have had . . the prayers . . the questions . . and most importantly the hope. I pray your LOA comes very, very soon!!