Exscuse me sir, you dropped something.

Dear Mr. Baseball Field,

I enjoy your friendship. Really. I do. You are incredibly hospitable, entertaining and you have provided SO many great memories for our family and for that I am most appreciative.

I do feel, however, that we have come to a point in our relationship that we need to clarify some points in how we spend our time together.

Well.

1 point really.

You see, I have decided that our relationship just can't be reciprocal.

It can't.

We have tried.

It doesn't work.

Therefore, from this day forth I am respectfully asking that you not come into our house anymore.

There. Whew. I said it.

You are not welcome here.

And if you want to know why....

Well, here....let me just show you.

There.



See that? That's you.



And that's a mess. And dude, I have four/five/six boys. If there's anything that I don't need it's another mess.

You stay where you belong, I'll stay where I belong.

I mean come on man, you don't see me all up in your biness with my perfume and cleaning products. So why do you feel as though you can intrude on my space?

Thanks for your understanding.

Oh, and take your seedy friends outta my house with you.

They bother me. And beyond that, they somehow end up in my lint trap in the dryer.

Sincerely,
Me