1.

1 Hour.

I am fluffing my hair
applying my 8th coat of lip gloss
I'm wearing my dangly earrings
my eyelashes are about to crumple beneath the wait of the full tube of mascara I have applied
and I have changed clothes 3 times
and sprayed myself with some perfume....which
hello....makes no sense.
It's not smellovision Skype.
I'm.Such.A.Nerd. 
Who would have thought that one day I would be primping to meet a 7 year old boy.
I feel like I'm going on a blind date.

Do I look kind?
Motherly?
Too motherly?
Scary?
Do I look like I belong in an 80's rock band with this eye makeup?
Do you see?
Do you see my pain here?
Help me Rhonda.

I just decided that my bangs need to be trimmed.
So I got out the scissors
and.
cut.
them.

Now I'm not one to give advice ladies,
but hear me on this.
When you send your husband and 13 year old to the other side of the world to pick up your 7th son
don't cut your bangs an hour before they meet.

Trust me.

Tis not a good idea.
You are nervous
you are excited
you are looking for something to do.
You are not in complete control of your faculties.
Cutting your bangs should not
I repeat
Not
be your activity of choice.

1 Hour till Gotcha
1 Hour until I lose my mind and decide that I was meant to be bleach blond.