Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Attachment & Hoarding

Just my gut feeling....
but after seeing all of the pictures
and watching all of the video
I think our two big transition issues will be

Attachment



& Hoarding.


(note the pockets stuffed full of little treasures.)

And a little sibling rivalry on the side.
It's subtle.
You may have to watch it a time or two to catch the glances at one another, though you certainly won't miss Jacob's exasperated sigh on the second video.
Note that the package is on the table, unopened, they have yet to get permission to open it.
Joey can't take his eyes off of it and
Jacob thought it necessary to remove Joey's hand from the package.
They are brothers already.

Exhibit A:
video

Exhibit B:

video

Can I call upon my translation posse once again to tell me what specifically Jacob is saying when he is pointing at Joey? Something like "Bala-bala-ba..."

I'll just be here wondering why on earth I didn't send them each their own separate package instead of a joint one.
Hello.
You'd think I haven't parented in sets of two before.
Sheesh.
Rookie mistake.

12 comments:

  1. There HAS to be an App for that eh? :_)
    Daddyo

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  2. I just can't wait till you're there!!

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  3. Didn't the other mom say how her husband was getting tired of carrying Joey and the translator finally told them he had been asking for a while to be put down? And don't all children walk around w/ pockets full 'o stuff? And backpacks full, and want to sleep w/ every toy they own? I can't argue with Mom's gut, though. And as for sibling rivalry? Unavoidable. :)

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  4. Sorry :(
    Kayden listened to it several times and she could not understand/translate it.

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  5. ha ha! I tried as well, but cannot really tell what he is saying. BUt now that you mention it, you CAN see the subtle bodylanguage between them! Love the little kissy faces they made at each other in the second video after he stuffed what looked like a rubics cube in his pocket!

    Thankfully, you DO have experience parenting in pairs and you are VERY astute. You're most definitely the Mama for those cuties!

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  6. Brothers already. Gotta love that really! :) I also agree that my kids do hoard things a bit, but I also know that it's a common behavior to look for in adoption. It won't be all roses, but I know it'll be great! Just pray and tell God the He has to show up! With Him there all will be good! :)

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  7. When we went, I packed 2 identical back packs, except one was blue the other pink. 2 identical stuffed dogs, one with button eyes, one with fuzzy eyes, 2 sticker books, 1 cars, 1 dinosars etc.. They took the back packs everywhere with them and loved comparing items but always knew what belong to them.
    It's wonderful that you do have experience in parneting pairs!! You'll be amazed at what "mommy experience" you'll be magically pulling out of your pockets during your travels!
    Your NO Rookie!! lol
    Krista D

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  8. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh breaks my heart watching them just looking at it-- waiting for permission:( girl-- less than 2 weeks-- you can do it!!!!! and i cannot wait to see them see you in real life and vice versa-- there is no way you can prepare your heart- i was blown away differently with each of ours!!!!

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  9. Don't worry about the parenting. I just know that when you are with them it will all come back to you! :) You are great at the pairs parenting. It's just a lot better when you are with your kids and not sending them things!!!! I will be praying.

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  10. Well I can tell you that we adopted Lizzie at 2 years old and we had a 2 year old at the time! They are 3 months apart and it can be VERY hard. However, it is also incredibly beautiful to watch their relationship grow and to see how bonded they are and protective they are of each other. They can bop each other all day long but let one of their big brothers do the bopping and watch out!!!! You will LOVE it!!!

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  11. OH ya sharing is a dirty word! JK

    Hoarding- yes, especially with Jacob!! That's not a bad one to have though- he'll get over it in time.

    Attachment- I doubt it! I think they may attach to your boys fiirst but they will see that your older boys love you and you haven't killed them so far so they will figure out that your not so bad either. It does take time though!

    I think your second issue will be competition between the two. We were surprised to see the loyalty to each other go right out the window the minute we met them. It was every man for himself. They physically pushed each other out of the way- for attention and love from us.
    However IF you should ever be so bold as to punish one of them for any wrong doing they will immediately change sides and both will be mad at you! The dynamics are quite humorous!!

    We may be bringing all our girls to get our next two- not sure yet. The babysitter doesn't want to miss spring break with her family!! They will probably still be talking about your family in China and then we will arrive! Crazy Americans!

    I bet you will get a comment on the fact that you have all boys! Then it will make you mad and you'll for sure have to go back for your girls!!

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  12. SOnia.. the positive.. YOU ALREADY notice ... not a year or two down the road.. God is giving you wisdom.. He will supply your needs..

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